Poison Ivy
by buns1974
Summary: Joss gets poison ivy in a sensitive area and it's all John's fault.


AN: This one shot just came to me and wouldn't let go. Please enjoy and as always review it just makes me want to write more.

Poison Ivy

Oh God, this shit itches. Fuck! She's going to really shoot his ass this time, she swears. Because it's his entire fucking fault since he's the one who convinced her to get her freak on out in the middle of the damn woods. Damn! All the man had to do was back her ass up against a tree and give her a smoldering look and damn if she wasn't in the middle of the fucking woods getting her freak on. Shit! She thinks as she waits patiently for John to come back with the prescription from her doctor. And speaking of her doctor, the look she gave her and John, whom by the way, simply shot her a wink and a sexy as smirk. Had Dr. Sheila Simpson patting Joss on the shoulder and calling her one lucky girl. Luck, however, wouldn't be the first image to come to mind as she lay across her bed with poison ivy on her ass and va ga ga (vagina). Shit! She thinks as she rubs her ass against her bed, trying to get some relief from the itch that she knows will be worse if she scratches and damn if she plans on making it worse. Still, she can't help but smile at the thought of how she got into this situation, not that she'd ever admit to that John's ass. Hell no!

_Recap_

_They were off in a wooded area providing backup for John who was once again protecting Leon Tao who got his ass in trouble with some Ukrainian money launderers. Well, while Shaw was babysitting Leon aka the perpetual number, she was out in the fucking woods chasing after said launderers with John only to get a call from Finch that the Ukrainians had somehow shown up at the safe house. Luckily Fusco and Shaw were able to handle the situation. However, John was still pissed at the Ukrainians and at Leon for interrupting their private time because lately their time together had been limited with the numbers plus her job and they'd__ both __been stretched too thin and were both feeling frustrated. Well that frustration came to a head when John stopped all of a sudden, causing her to halt and reach for her gun, automatically on alert for any sign of danger. But it turned out the only danger was one tall, dark, dangerously, and delicious John Reese. As she looked up at him with brow raised in question, she halted as she saw the look in his eyes, a smoldering look that said she was about to be fucked long and hard. The look that a woman can recognize on her man's face as he sweeps his eyes over her from head to toe, making her wet while her nipples harden almost painfully as she's so aroused and fuck if it hasn't been a few weeks since they've fucked or made love. She wants him, now. Who's she kidding? She always wants his sexy ass. She doesn't know who reaches for whom first but they are ripping at each other's clothes as he backs her up into a tree. As she reaches for his belt, he suddenly looks around, dragging her into a more secluded spot with a soft bed of grass. Yanking his coat off, he lays it on the ground while reaching for her. He sinks to his knees, pulling her close and ripping off her jacket as she leans down, kissing him passionately with teeth and tongue; nipping his lip, biting then soothing as he moans in response to her aggressiveness. He rips open her shirt, so incredibly turned on as he works on her belt and quickly unzips her pants as he brings her down in front of him. He removes her boots, followed by her pants, and finally panties._

_He moans as he sees her glistening heat and knows that it's all for him. He's the one to make her wet with need. He's the one that has her in the middle of the woods moaning and biting at his lips like she's starved. Kissing her, he slides his finger over her heat and she moans as he caresses her, his hands slick with her need. Rubbing his hand over her clit he slides it down as he slowly thrusts one finger inside making her moan. As she lays out in the middle of the woods with her legs spread and riding his finger, he thinks she's never looked so fucking good as she does now._

"_Please," she begs for more as he pulls out his finger only to add a second and thrusts both inside her slightly harder, causing her to arch off the ground. Her noises make him wild as he thrust his fingers harder into her heat and then he leans down, pulling her bra aside and wraps his mouth around her hard nipples. He sucks hard and with the nip of his teeth, she cums all over his fingers, soaking them, and that makes his cock so hard it's almost painful in its intensity. He barely lets her come down before he's removed his fingers and has his pants pulled down and cock out. He pushes her thighs apart roughly and slams into her, hard. They both moan and it echoes through the forest which makes him harder as he fucks her into the ground. Her hips rise from the ground meeting his hard thrusts and she knows there'll be bruises in the morning but they're both so out of control that neither of them are thinking straight._

_He continues his almost brutal thrusting and if her screams are any indication, she loves it and he can feel his orgasm approaching as he suddenly grabs her legs throwing them over his shoulders and going even deeper._

"_John." she moans as he hits her in all the right spots with this angle and she loves it._

"_Fuck Joss! So good baby, too fucking good." he moans out as he slams repeatedly inside her and all she can do is curl her hands into the ground as she feels him watching her. She slips her hand between her legs, playing with her hard nub, rubbing quicker and quicker while he stiffens and yells as his orgasm washes over him like a tidal wave, receding but only to throw another mini wave his way._

_Watching him cum sends her slamming into her own tidal wave of an orgasm as she screams his name, "John"!_

_Breathing heavy he drops her legs from his shoulders as he lays on top of her, kissing her neck as she calms down trying to catch her breath._

"_Fuck John." She says._

"_Fuck is right Joss." He replies as he shoots her one of his trademark sexy ass smirks that he knows piss her off but for once she's too satisfied to care. Hell, she's too relaxed to care about much of anything._

_He shifts off her to his knees, pulling up his pants as he watches her and can't help but take pride in the fact that she looks as if she's just been fucked and fucked really well. Of course he knows not to mention this to her, not at the moment anyway. Reaching for her, he helps her to her feet as he pulls out a handkerchief and passes it to her so she can clean herself. He notices that they had managed to move off his jacket with their exuberant escapade. John also notices a plant that looks familiar. He is about to comment on it when she barks out at him that she's ready to get home to a hot shower and some Chinese food. He quickly forgets about those little bushes near where they'd just made love as he walks fast to catch up to Joss throwing his arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head as they make their way to his car._

_End Recap_

She stops reminiscing as her bedroom door opens and she looks up into the beautiful blue eyes of John fucking Reese cause until her rash of poison ivy goes away she will continue to call him that.

"Hey Joss, how are you doing?" He asks, trying to gage her reaction to his return but it's still the same pissed off mode as when he'd left to pick up the medicine.

Sticking out her hand and snapping her finger she says, "Just give me the damn medicine and go the hell away. Far way and I don't mean the living room but your own house." She practically screams this in her irritation.

He merely gives her one of his trademark 'I'm going to get what I want' looks. But not this time, not with her ass and va ga ga feeling like she's gotten some STD instead of poison fucking ivy! Hell no! Although she should have said no when they were in the woods. Shaking her head, she thinks nope, this whole thing is entirely his fault. Hell, if men can accuse women of being seductresses then men can be as well and John fucking Reese seduced the hell out of her in those damn woods.

"Joss I only want to help you since I doubt you'll be able to put the medicine on in the entire affected areas like that sexy ass of yours and between your thighs." He says, this waiting for her to respond but when her eyes narrow he knows he's going to have to try a different approach. "Joss be reasonable…" he says, only to be stopped as she screams.

"Reasonable? Reasonable?! You want me to be fucking reasonable when my ass itches like fuck and don't get me started on my poor va ga ga which is swollen and not in the good way that va ga ga's should be swollen." She is screaming at him like a woman possessed and knows all she needs is for her head to swivel around and vomit to come shooting out of her mouth like the exorcist she's acting that insane. Or it could have been his healthy sense of self preservation kicking in and spotting the danger - namely her. And at this point she was just that…dangerous.

Taking a deep breath, he tries a different approach with her, trying not to piss her off but at this point there's no guarantee. "Joss, baby I'm sorry that this happened and honey you know if I could take away the pain and itching and switch places with you I would, in a heartbeat. I would do anything to make you feel better. Anything to make you forgive me and stop being mad at me", he says, hoping to placate her but with her eyes narrowing and nostrils flaring he knows he's made it worse. He doesn't know how, only that he's made the situation much worse.

She smiles at him in a way that makes him swallow nervously because she's got that look in her eyes which scares the hell of him and he's man enough to admit it, at least to himself.

"Really? You would do ANYTHING to make me feel better? Hmmm I tell you what how about you go and get some poison ivy and rub it all over your cock and balls and then I'll forgive you." She smiles at him sweetly and yet he knows it's anything but sweet, it's pure fucking evil and damn if it doesn't turn him on. Of course he keeps those bad thoughts to himself because if she got even a hint of him being turned on his ass is grass and she'd mow all over it and his balls. Nope, bad, bad thoughts.

Taking a deep breath he says. "Joss, babe, as much as I love you and you know I do, I have to tell you that no sane man would ever deliberately put his cock and balls in harm's way not even for the love of his life. Now while I can sympathize, I'm not going to rub poison ivy all over my cock, not even for you."

"Well I guess your word means nothing then does it? You wax poetically about doing ANYTHING to make me feel better and yet when it comes down to it, you're all fucking talk and no action unless, of course, it involves fucking me on a bed of poison fucking ivy." She screams out that last part as she's staring at him and if looks could kill, he knows he'd be wearing a toe tag right about now.

Sighing once again he asks, "Do you want help applying the medicine or not"? because at this point he's getting a little ticked off as well.

"Are you really trying to give me attitude?", she screams as the battle lines seem to have been drawn.

"No, I'm trying to help you in what I can only imagine is a very painful and uncomfortable situation but it doesn't help with you being pissed and angry at me either," he yells as he's now pissed himself.

John looks down and takes a deep breath as she starts crying softly and now he feels like shit because he knows she's only being this way because of the poison ivy. Dropping the medicine, he lays next to her on the bed, pulling her into his arms even as she tries to resist. But he's persistent and she finally reaches up, wrapping her arms around him and crying in earnest as he strokes her hair soothingly. Joss looks up into his face and says, "I'm sorry for being such a bitch but this poison ivy rash is awfully painful and it itches like hell." Sniffing, she snuggles next to him as she rubs her ass against the sheets trying to calm the itching.

"Joss let me apply the medicine and give you some pain medication to help you relax and sleep." He holds his breath, praying he hasn't said the wrong thing again.

"Okay that sounds good," she replies softly, too tired and miserable to continue being mad at him.

Gently he turns her onto her stomach, telling her to spread her legs as he applies medicine on her lower back, buttocks, and in between her thighs. She sighs in contentment as the lotion soothes her itching. He can only wince as the rash looks red and inflamed and he really wishes there was more he could do for her except roll his private parts in poison ivy. Getting up, he heads towards the restroom to wash his hand and get her a pain pill along with a glass of water.

"Joss, here take this so you can get some sleep." He watches as she takes the medicine, lying on her stomach as she rests her head on her arms, watching him. He sits down next to her, rubbing her shoulder blades, trying to sooth her to sleep along with the medicine. After about twenty minutes the medicine starts to take effect as she yawns more and more and her eyes close only to open up.

"Joss don't fight it. You need to sleep and get some rest since you haven't had any the last few nights," he admonishes her slightly.

"John," she says sleepily eyes drooping heavily.

"Yes?" he responds, watching her fight sleep.

"The next time you try and seduce me in the woods, I have two words for you - Lorena Bobbit," she says as sleep claims her.

He watches her as sleep claims her and thinks if they're ever in the woods and he's feeling frisky he'll make sure he has a tent in the trunk of the car because he'll never agree not to seduce her again. Especially in the woods where it was probably the hottest sex of his life and they've had some fantastic sex. He smiles and decides not to mention this fact to her since it would only piss her off more and he likes his cock just where it is thank you very much.


End file.
